On Friday
I have no internet. I examine the modem, the DSL light is flashing red – which
gets me thinking about the fact that I recently changed bank accounts and my
ATT internet is set to automatically deduct from my old account. Rats, I bet no
payment went through and they disconnected me. I glance through my pile of
papers on my desk for something with ATT’s phone number – first thing I find is
my welcome packet. I call the number go through the automated system (2:49pm):
…no the account is not attached to the number I’m calling from…yes I already
reset my system and I know that is not the reason I’m having trouble…no I’m not
going to do it again – just give me a person to talk to, guh.
Finally I
get some guy and he asks for the number associated with the account (which I
already gave the automated system) then the name on the account, then my name
(ie same as above). I tell him what happened and he asks for my customer id.
Customer ID? What customer id? I just gave him my account number and verified
the name…apparently on my bill there should be 3 digit number after my account
number. I tell him I don’t have a bill in front of me (I generally don’t get
them since I’m on automatic payments). He asks for the exact amount of my last
payment. Er, I don’t know that either, I know its around $48. Nope not good
enough. Apparently with out one of those two numbers he can’t help me. Really?
Not even with my account number, name, address, social security number, or
numerous secret questions they love to make me set up for this reason, nor any
other myriad question they could ask me? Nope, he can’t help. He has to
transfer me to a different department. Alrighty then.
I get
transferred and I notice the automatic wait dialogue is in Spanish. Uh oh. The
next cheerful representative answers: “Gracias
por haber elegido a AT&T!...” Oh no. Me:“Er, I am really sorry but I only speak
English”. Guy: (Heavily accented) “Ok, how can I help you?” I explain
what happed with the billing, we struggle to understand each other, but he is
nice and trying hard to help me. He gets the bank account information switched
over and tells me that the full amount for last month and this month will be
deducted at once on March 2nd. Hmmm.. but I have no internet now. I
ask if I could just pay it now and have the internet back up. He is confused
and repeats it will be deducted on the 2nd. We go back and forth a
bit – he agrees that I could pay it now but still seems confused. I finally say
it’s alright (might as well approach this from a different angle hopefully with
a English speaker). I tell him I am having connection problems and would like
to talk to internet tech support. He cheerfully agrees and transfers me on to…
Spanish
speaking tech support: “Gracias por haber elegido a AT&T,
¿cómo podemos ayudarle” Me: “Er, I’m sorry I was sent to the
wrong place, could you transfer me to an English speaking tech support angent?”
Guy: (heavily accented) “Yes, sorry ma’am, one minute”…
English speaking tech support. Finally I am able to talk to
someone about why my internet is not working. She quickly finds that my account
is still suspended and tells me I need to talk to the department that deals with
that, but it closes at 5pm eastern time (ie 3 mins ago) so she is trying to get
a person there for me to talk to. She transfers me and….
“We are sorry but this number is not longer in service,
please call customer service to be redirected.”
WTF?!
So I call again (3:21pm), now I’ve located and opened the
notice that I missed a payment, so I have a different number to call. Back
through the automated system (Guh I HATE that system!). I don’t even remember
how I get to the right department, but I do. They see that I did update my
banking information, but say that I need to have the past due amount in now in
order to remove the suspension. I tell them I’d be happy to do that (in fact I
was trying to do that with the Spanish speaking guy!). So he processes my
payment and removes the suspension, and says my internet should be restored
within half an hour.
About an hour and half later, still no internet. I call again
(5:01pm) I get through the automated system and talk to tech support. He still
sees the suspension lift processing; he says it should be up within four hours,
and definitely sometime tonight.
Saturday morning, still no internet. We go to Panera’s and
enjoy their wifi (mmm… and a soufflé yum!). Back at home by 6:56pm I really
want my internet. I call. Automated systems asks for my number, I tell it: “559
299 ####” It repeats back to me “519 218 #&!%”. I tell it “NO”
and we go back and forth through this a few times. I wonder if my headset isn’t
properly plugged in, I unplug it and replug it. I call again and try
again. Same thing, the automated voice keeps repeating back a random seeming
string of numbers. Where the hell is it getting these numbers? I hang up and
call again, and try entering the numbers from the keypad instead. Its still giving
back wrong numbers. I begin wondering if I am crazy and I am the one entering
wrong numbers. I pay extra close attention to what I enter in. I know I entered
the right numbers. I even try the “I don’t know my number” option, which just
tells me I need a number and it suggests ways to find it. Arg!! After 5 calls
(6:54, 6:56, 6:58, 7:01, and 7:10 according to my call log) it finally figures
out my number and I’m put on hold for the next representative. The dialogue
tells me that there are an unusual amount of callers and it will be a long
while be for I’m assisted and I may want to call back. Ha, no way – I’ll wait.
I sit and paint D&D figurines while waiting.
Finally about 20 minutes later I am startled by the sound of
a human answering my call. I give her my name and number and she asks for a
call back number in case we are disconnected, I give it to her, she starts
saying something in response and the line goes dead. I look at my cell (which I
KNOW has full battery) Screen is black, and the phone is not responding. Omfg!
I pull out the battery and put it back in, and my phone starts back up.
I call again (7:34pm). Thank god the automated system gets my
number on the right try. I prepare for another 20 minute wait, but my call is
answered immediately. The representative sees that I’ve been having trouble and
been calling and my account is noted. She asks if I’ve reset my system (yes, I
have – even though I knew it probably would help – I always do a power cycle
and check all the cords before I even bother calling them) She says her systems
is showing service to my line. She asks if I’ve moved my box to another outlet.
No I only have one outlet in my entire apartment. She asks if I have a phone
plugged into it. No, I don’t even have a home line anymore (can’t she see that
on my account? Ah well) She asks if the cord is frayed or damaged. No - I
explain everything is the same as it was before Friday and it was working just
great until then. She has me unplug modem from line, and then from the power,
re-plug in line, and re-plug in power and watch the lights. DSL is still
flashing red. She asks if it ever changed to red/green flashing. No, I explain
that since Friday it has done nothing but flash red. She says she is going to
reset my circuit packet (or something like that) I sit and wait. The DSL
light switches to blinking green. I tell her this. She suggests maybe its
because she reset something (duh!). The light switched to solid green, and the
internet light also turns green. Woot!! I tell her and open a webpage to see if
I really have internet. She asks me to open a webpage to check for internet
(er, yeah). Success!! She says there is still some errors showing up in my
line, and she will put in a ticket for me. Ahh blessed blessed internet!! Now if
only this all could have been done with one freaking call!!!
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